so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
