Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
