you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
