I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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