$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
