I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
