I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
