it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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