Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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