I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
