His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
honey bunches of taint.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
birth control should be required to get into college
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
