she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
