Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
