I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
