It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize