Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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