can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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