What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
