Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
