We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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