I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
