for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
