i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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