All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm having to shit out rocks
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
