oh god the rape fog is back!
People in love make me want to vomit
You're like the curious george of whores
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
