reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
