Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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