I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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