I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
