I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
