so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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