what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
