I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
