Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
