I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
