I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
