Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
