Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
