Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
