So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
