I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
