Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize