I'm going to jail i love you
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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