gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize