This girl is more easily done than said...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
