Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
