this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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