My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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