Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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