There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
