Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
