I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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