Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
