He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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