We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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