xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
