i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
We need a shit load of segways right now
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
