He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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