flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
