Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
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