I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
