I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
